Weiner Cover Up Worse than the Crime

 

Weiner’s wiener jokes grind on ad nauseam.

It’s too easy to make fun of someone who has a name like Weiner, especially when the person with the moniker, Congressman Anthony Weiner, also a New York mayoral hopeful, makes it so easy. A wiener joke is hard to resist.

Wiener jokes began popping up like spring flowers in mainstream and new media headlines around the world after Congressman Weiner bungled his explanation of how a picture of a man in grey underwear appeared on his Twitter account.

Google … Anthony Weiner … and in 0.09 seconds you’ll get over 2 million results like;

My journalistic instincts also rose to the occasion.

I couldn’t resist and Tweeted,

Weiner not sure if wiener is his wiener on Twitter.
He states “I’ll be honest, all I know is all I know

I told am New York Weiner will have to jump through an awful lot of extraordinary hoops to make us forget about this . . . I think it’s going to stick.”

The play on words is so easy to do it doesn’t even seem mean spirited, and it isn’t.

It’s funny, mostly because Weiner gave us permission to pick up his lead.

All this started when, according to Rep. Weiner, someone hacked his Twitter account and sent a picture of a guy in his underwear to a woman in Seattle he claims he does not know, nor she him. According to Weiner, when he first saw the Tweet, he was being interviewed by Rachel Maddow on MSNBC, he immediately deleted it from his account.

A HUGE RED FLAG should have gone up in the Weiner camp at the first spark, and his advisors should have consulted with each other, with Weiner at the helm. Apparently they didn’t because in Rep. Weiner’s first interview about the Tweet, he talked incessantly, serving up sound bite after sound bite of fruitless effort trying to explain himself.

He broke so many rules about talking to media it was hard to keep track.

To begin with, he used the word “certitude” to explain that he wasn’t sure if it was a picture of him in his underwear, or not. A good rule of thumb is to always use plain language that even a ten year old would understand. Instead he tried to talk over our heads. What exactly does certitude mean? Well, it means exactly what you suspect, it means, in his case, without certainty, which ironically, now also describes his career. It is extremely hard and often impossible to shake this type of stigma.

Weiner’s statement was,

I cannot say with certitude that it is not a picture of me.”

In other words, yes, it is possible it could be me.

He went on and on speculating, which is an unforgivable act, about why and how a picture of him in his underwear might even be on his computer or online network, and cited the possibility of the image on Twitter being Photoshopped to endow his anatomy after someone allegedly purloined the picture from his possession, possibly, perhaps.

The above sentance runs on, and so did Weiner.

He is so indecisive it is hard to watch.

Weiner actually did the reporter’s  job  for her, Rachel Maddow, by serving up sound bites that no one, not even an amateur child blogger, could resist. Maddow must have been doing back flips of joy as Weiner prattled on. It was a string of sound bites every journalist dreams about, and although Maddow’s career is already roaring along, a gift like this can be a career-maker for reporters.

If you didn’t know Rachel Maddow yesterday, you’ll know her today.

Weiner also tried to dismiss the event under the guise of juvenile humor by framing it in a high school context. When he started speculating about how and why it happened he offered up so many options it was hard to keep track. Weiner ramped speculation up to a level not seen since Donald Rumsfeld who infamously coined, “There are known knowns. These are things we know that we know.

2011 Weiner said, “All I know is what I know.”

Weiner didn’t even deliver it like he meant it, so I give him an “F” for FAIL.

When you make a media mistake like this it’s like dangling your feet in a shark tank.

Someone with a Congressman’s experience should have been prepared, both through experience and professional media training to know how to diffuse a crisis situation, and not make a small object appear larger in the rear view mirror.

You don’t pour water on a grease fire, and you don’t take Viagra just before you do a media interview that you expect will bury the controversy about your private parts.

It is however an effective way to increase Followers on your Twitter account, because since the crisis occurred, Weiner’s numbers are increasing by the thousands.

Hmmm, do you think the good Congressmen planned this elaborate wiener fiasco just to get Followers? Maybe Dick Cheney should jump on this strategy?

Sorry, I was speculating wasn’t I? Forget I said it.

Read Part 2 of the Weiner Crisis

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  1. Pingback: Weiner Cover Up Worse than the Crime – Part 2 | When the Headline Is YOU – An Insider's Guide to Handling the Media

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